The Depths of Desire

There are a number of reasons why I have wanted to write this book. On one level it is a way of vindicating myself and my behavior. As a writer, I have a great need to analyze and understand myself and the world around me. It is not enough for me to just 'feel'; I always have to set my feelings to words. Is through words that I come to understand. I do not see myself as a pervert or sado- masochist. I am a sane, intelligent, educated and rational man with the desire to explore anal pleasure to its limits. I have a deep respect for my health, my body and my mind. I would never participate in any activity that would purposely hurt me or others. Sex for me has always been a positive and pleasant enterprise to be carried out without shame.

Getting involved in handballing did, however, force me to re- evaluate myself and my desires. The insertion of a fist into an ass carries with it powerful overtones of dominance and submission and shades of S&M. In addition, the potential physical dangers involved are very real. Before I could accept handball as a legitimate sexual act I had to know everything about it. Unfortu- nately information on this subject is difficult to come by.

The little information that is available on handball barely covers the subject except to alert you to its dangers. There was no account I could find that detailed exactly what is involved, that presented the necessary precautions and preparations, or that outlined the anatomical and physiological aspects. The only publications that I could find that purports to be any sort of guide is "The Fist Fucker's Manual." That book only served to frighten me as the main purpose of the book is to present fiction- alized accounts of what may be the author's fantasies, but would be dangerous if carried out in reality. A more recent book, The Divine Androgyne, (Sanctuary Publications, San Diego, CA) places handballing within the framework of Eastern Philosophy. Although not an objective guidebook, it is beautifully written and illus- trated and well worth reading.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to Handball - the sexual sport is a synthesis of information obtained through interviews with medical doctors, interviews with other handballers, information obtained from the medical literature, information based upon anatomy and physiology as well as my own experiences. This book is as much an account of my own journey as it is an objective presentation of the facts; many times the only 'facts' that were available were those that I deduced for myself. The Guide is the book I wish I would have had when I first started out.

For the reader who is considering getting involved with handball, I hope that I have provided enough solid information upon which a decision can be made. For those readers who are merely curious about the subject, I hope that The Guide helps to place handballing with the spectrum of acceptable sexual behavior. Handball is just one more form of sexual expression, it neither replaces nor discounts other forms.

Handball arouses a great deal of emotion. Although is seems that every homosexual is curious about the practice, the feelings it arouses are polar: men are either all for it or totally repelled by it. This situation is a result of the great amount of ignorance that exists about the subject. Though the practice of handball is continually gaining in popularity, there is a general avoidance of the topic - both in the media and in conversation. When it is discussed, it usually as some sort of bizarre perversion. The gay media has particularly avoided the issue.

When the gay newspaper, The Advocate, ran a series of articles on gay organizations in America ("A Survey of Gay Organizations", 1976) it made no mention of FFA (Fist Fuckers of America), TAIL (Total Ass Involvement League), MAFIA (Mid America Fists in Action), or the Catacombs.
Navin, Helen. Medical and Surgical Risks in Handballing: Implications of an inadequate socialization process.Journal of Homosexuality, 6(3):69, 1981.

The few articles that have appeared in the gay media have been decidedly negative. This is irresponsible. Carried out in ignorance, handballing can be dangerous. I find it contradictory that gay magazines will publish fiction in which fistfucking occurs and yet not publish articles on the hows and whys of it.

Handballing is treated as a taboo subject and because of this there is a great amount of fear and ignorance. From a political perspective there are some who believe that the practice will hinder the assimilation of gays into mainstream society, i.e. news of it will somehow slow down our ability to gain equal rights. If the price of equality is our sexuality, do we really want that 'equality'? Anal sex in general and handball in particular are not the sole properties of homosexuals. Everybody has an asshole, gay or straight. Behind the drawn shades of Middle America's tract houses, millions of heterosexual couples play anal sex games and

. . . we suspect this practice of fist fornication to become more popular among heterosexual couples.

Sohn, Norman et al. Social Injuries of the Rectum. The American Journal of Surgery.. 134:612, 1977.

Sex is essentially an activity of the mind for which the body is only the agent. There are myriad sexual variations many of which are potentially more dangerous than handball - bondage, whipping, suffocation, piercing, etc. Handball, however, appears to arouse the greatest amount of fear. A real evaluation of the practice of handball should be based on information and not fear.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to HANDBALL
by R.A. Fournier
as found on http://www.gayfisters.com

Anal Pleasure/Anal Pain

It must be admitted that not everyone, not even all homosexual men, accept any form of anal stimulation as a valid source of sexual pleasure. As free thinking men we have the right to choose what does and does not give us pleasure. The very sensations that are interpreted as pleasurable by one group of men are seen as painful by another. Anal sensations are not by nature either pleasurable or painful. The negative or positive attitude that one develops about anal sensations appears to be a learned response possibly associated with one's early toilet training and family attitudes toward defecation.

This process of self-alienation is especially pronounced in the anal area which often is the bodily symbol of all that is unclean and disgusting. It is understandably confusing that part of the body which is supposed to be so unsavory is also extremely sensitive and potentially among the most enjoyable. Especially for a child, the discovery that the anus is considered bad and repulsive must be confusing, since the idea is in direct contradiction to his or her pleasurable experience. Morin, Jack.
Anal Pleasure and Health, Down There Press, Burlingame,
CA, 1981. pp 1-2.

Fecal waste material is not a sexual stimulant and it may be difficult for some too disassociate the anus from its excretory function and view it as a sex organ. Anal sensations appear to be neutral ones open to being subjectively interpreted as either pleasurable or not by the individual. An anal retentive person is one who is uptight, cannot relax, must continually carry the burdens of life upon his shoulders, and cannot enjoy pleasure. A person who can enjoy anal sensations is one who likes himself enough to let go of problems and worries and allow himself pleasure.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to HANDBALL
by R.A. Fournier
as found on http://www.gayfisters.com

Is Handball Dangerous?

The question "Is Handball Dangerous?" can be easily answered: yes it is. So is smoking cigarettes, driving a car, crossing the street, and taking a bath. The question should really be "is handball so dangerous that it should be avoided?" The answer to that question is not as simple and requires one to analyze the available information, weigh the possible risks against the pleasures, and decide for oneself. The little that is written on the subject is contradictory.

. . . all of the many doctors I spoke to in preparation for this book felt that fistfucking is about the most dangerous current sex practice . . . It can kill you.
You may feel no pain, but if you're being fistfucked your partner quite literally has your life in his hand(s).
Fenwick, R.D. The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, E.P. Dutton, New York, 1978, pp 64, 66.

. . .when it is approached slowly, gently and with minimal or no drug use, the risk of physical damage is probably low. In fact by promoting very deep relaxation it may, in some cases, actually be beneficial. Morin p 109.

Larry Kramer, writing a fictional account of homosexual encounters in Faggots (1978) says, "Fist-fucking is quite popular with some of the boys. I heard they had twenty deaths last year from holes in the stomach [sic] at St. Vincent's in the Village alone." (p. 356) Surgical personnel in the Emergency Department of St. Vincent's in New York deny this categorically. Emergency incident involving bowel trauma probably do number 20 during a year, but no deaths have occurred in the Emergency Department, nor subsequently in cases requiring surgical intervention. Navin, p 71.

Stories of deaths resulting from fist-fucking are rampant; especially among non-fist-fuckers. One would have to be a true idiot to pursue something the inevitable result of which would be one's demise. I assure you that handballers are not suicidal. I found no substantiation of any death resulting from fist-fucking. Injury can occur and it the injury is serious and left uncared for, death can result. Death would then be a function of stupidity and not fist-fucking. Contrary to what Mr. Fenwick says in The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, you would feel this type of injury. Peritonitis resulting from perforating the colon produces severe cramps.

I have attended numerous handball parties and have met at least a thousand men who are handballers. Not once have I witnessed an injury of any sort and at the end of each party everyone who attended walked out both happy and very much alive. This to me is the best evidence of the relative safety of handballing. V.
Take Two Suppositories and Call Me In the Morning

In the face of contradictory reports, rampant gossip, lack of valid information, and my own ignorance, I turned to my doctor for advice. My doctor is young (under 40), straight, and married. I must admit that is was with some trepidation that I broached the subject with him, and I expected a violent negative reaction. Instead he told me that the anus and colon are very strong muscle groups, quite capable of accepting a fist. As long as it is carried out with gentleness and care, without force, the anus is quite capable of safely accepting large objects. Although Doctors as a group are not known for their liberal attitudes and often share the same prejudices and irrational fears of the culture, I recommend that you discuss handball with your physician. In this way he would be able to advise you and give you his feelings on the subject. In addition, he would be aware of what you are up to and be ready to treat you properly should you ever require medical attention. Of course your Doctor may have never heard of handball! Here is a frightening tale from The Advocate Guide to Gay Health:

. . . Once in the emergency room, the young man blurted out that he'd been messing around" the night before, that his sexual partner had "stuck his arm up me, all the way to the elbow." The physician on duty was immediately skeptical. "What kind of drugs were you taking?" "Just some grass and a little amyl." "No, you've dropped acid," replied the physician. "You know and I know that it
isn't possible to stick your arm up someone's rear end.Your hallucinating." The young man was heavily sedated with Thorazine . . . That night the pain became so intense that he had to return to the hospital, where an emergency "appendectomy" revealed extensive peritonitis. The young man died.
Fenwick, p. 67.

I really don't know how true this story is as the author does not provide any reference source or other substantiation, but one wonders what kind of training this doctor received.

The folds of anal tissue give the anal canal a striking capacity for expansion, depending on the level of muscular tension. For example, during rectal surgery, under anesthesia, a person's anal muscles can be easily dilated so the surgeon's entire hand can pass through the anal canal. This same expansiveness is called upon in "fisting" or "fist fucking" which is a popular sexual activity among a few people. These extremes are not experienced by most people, but they illustrate the fact
that anal tissue can easily and safely expand for fingers, penises, etc. Morin, p 69.

The amazing ability of the anus to expand is something that one learns from a study of the basic anatomical structure of the area. I find it quite surprising that any physician would be unaware of this. Be that as it may, it is very important that anyone who experiments with handball make his physician aware of it.

Homosexual men should recognize that doctors and nurses, unless themselves gay, are unlikely to be aware of the practice of handballing. Because so few articles on handballing have been published in medical journals, and none in nursing journals only very alert physicians will be well informed about the subject . . . If adequate medical treatment is to be obtained, the homosexual client must provide the doctor or nurse with a full patient history regardless of the reaction by the person taking the medical history. Navin, p 75.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to HANDBALL
by R.A. Fournier
as found on http://www.gayfisters.com

Why Is the Ass Like A Musical Instrument?

An understanding of the anatomical structure and physiological purpose of the anus and rectum reveals both the source of the anatomical possibility of handballing and the source of the physical pleasure derived from it.

The rectum is a tube-like structure made of loose folds of soft, smooth tissue. Its total length is about eight or nine inches. Normally the rectum is more open and spacious than the anus. Like the anus, it has a striking capacity to expand. Morin, p 103.

The lower intestinal system forms essentially one continuous tube from the large colon to the sigmoid colon, thence to the rectum and anus. It is characterized by folds, called fossa, and curves. These folds give the system the ability to expand in much the same way as an accordion. The physiologic purpose of the lower intestinal system is as a waste compactor and eliminator. It is anatomically structured to deal with the movement of bulky material. The fossa allow the system to expand to accommodate the bulky material that it must deal with, and the smooth muscle that composes the walls of the system moves the material along it. A lining of mucosal tissue lubricates the procedure. By its nature then, the anal canal (the anus or anal opening) and the rectum are capable of learning to adapt to various sizes and to develop the flexibility and strength to deal with new demands.

The parts of the body that are of direct concern to handballing are the anal canal and the rectum.

The anal canal and rectum are usually called upon to release material. Handballing or the insertion of any object into the anal canal requires that the system operate in reverse.

The anal canal consists of both the external and internal sphincter and forms the anus itself. The anal canal is a very strong muscle group designed to expand and stretch to accommodate variously sized excretions. The anal canal is controlled by both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, i.e., it functions by itself without the need for thought, but it can be taught to respond to one's will. After all, one does not defecate wherever one finds oneself. We have learned to retain our need for a bowel movement until we reach a proper locale - normally a toilet. Practitioners of anal sex have learned to control the anal canal to a great degree and to willfully relax the anus to accommodate whatever object is being placed in it. Handball requires great control over the anus. In time and with patience the anus can learn to allow a fist through. Depending upon the amount of anal experience a person may already have, the anal canal will either be ready or not to accept a fist. This also depends upon the size of the fist in question; a small fist will be easier to accept than a large one. Just as one does not expect to develop a 48-inch chest overnight, neither should one expect to be able to accept a fist on the very first or even second try. Gentle unforced practice over time will develop the anal canal. Force can only lead to pain and injury.

How can you tell if the anus is ready to take a fist? It is quite simple: if there is pain, it is not ready. Unless you like pain, be patient with yourself and allow your anus to tell you when it is ready. This may require months or even a year or more, but you have your whole life. Do not let anyone force you to go beyond what you feel is your capacity at the moment.

The rectum itself is already a cavity: it is a depot or way-station for fecal material waiting to be eliminated through the anus. The rectum, therefore, usually does not pose as much a problem as the anus in accommodating a fist. There are some things about the rectum that you should be aware of, however.

The rectum is a muscle and, unless you've done a lot of experiment- ing with large dildoes, it is probably not accustomed to accommo- dating an object the size of a fist. Like the anal canal, the rectum also requires patient training. By the time the anus is ready to allow a fist through, the rectum is usually ready to accommodate it. A fist or any object that is too large for the rectum can cause a mucosal laceration. This is not serious, but may require medical attention and a prescription for antibiotics.

Once you have decided that you are ready and you allow your anus to slide down a well-lubricated hand to come to rest upon and grip your partner's wrist, the feeling will be very intense. It is a difficult feeling to describe and, although it should not be painful, the sensation may be so new and intense that you may not know if it is pleasure or pain. Over time, as you learn these new feelings, the intensity of entry diminishes. The new demands that you are placing upon your anus and rectum require it to stretch beyond what it normally expects.

Your partner inserts his hand into the anus by folding the fingers and following the natural curvature of your rectum. The thumb is kept in the palm and as the activity progresses the fingers fold over the thumb to form a fist. The intensity of the sensation comes from the act of stretching the rectal walls with the fingers. Once the fist is formed, the rectum is called upon to accommodate the bulkiness of the fist itself, and there is a great sensation of release as the anus is allowed to constrict around the wrist.

Although much of the pleasure of handball comes from the feeling of bulkiness, you may or may not be able to take it in the beginning and may want your partner to remove his hand almost immediately. This is very common and do not hesitate to let your partner know what you want. Removal of the hand can be as intense as insertion, however, and even though you may feel you want the hand out as soon as possible do not allow your partner to quickly pull it out and do not 'push' it out. By this time you have learned what it takes on your part to allow the hand to get into your rectum and you should follow the same, careful procedure in reverse. You can control the removal (and the insertion) by taking deep and slow breaths. From my own experience, I would say that learning to breathe deeply and slowly is the key to controlling the anus.

On the other hand, you may not want the immediate removal of the hand. When you reach this you are ready to enjoy the feeling of a fist in your rectum. Have your partner keep his hand completely still and allow yourself to feel the sensations of your rectum as it accommodates the fist.

Given the anatomic and physiologic nature of the anus and rectum - muscle groups designed to deal with the movement of matter of changing bulk - it should come as no surprise that through exercise the system can learn to accept something as large as a hand. As noted above, surgeons often place their entire hands into anesthe- tized patients during rectal operations. It is not an utterly foreign procedure, but doing it for sexual pleasure is an entirely different matter.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to HANDBALL
by R.A. Fournier
as found on http://www.gayfisters.com